Revisiting the Past - My Patchwork Heart: Vol. 2 (2010-2014)
Invisible Lance...
Weary of this life
The steps I take are slow
Ready to find peace
'tis home I long to go
I bear the weight of chains unseen
A burden on my heart
Each breath I take is labored
From this hell I wish to part
This course I'm on my soul did set
Long before I was conceived
Lessons to be taught and learned
Until death I am relieved
Flesh and blood of human form
Nothing more my oppressors see
Lacking depth of knowledge
Of the soul that's truly me
Hurtful words oft' spoken
The cut of a hateful glance
Piercing my heart I'm left for dead
By the blade of an invisible lance
By: T.J. Christoff ©
My Patchwork Heart: Vol. 2
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Show Love...
Show love to others
When your enemy strikes
Wielding hateful words
That cut like a knife
Show love to others
To those you despise
For you know not all
The pain in their lives
Show love to those
Who beg on the street
Be thankful their shoes
Aren't the one's on your feet
Show love to others
When they speak your name
Not with good will
But just to defame
Show love to others
When love's hard to find
Show the evil
How to be kind
Show love to others
In everything that you do
Be accepting of love
As it comes back to you
By: T.J. Christoff ©
My Patchwork Heart: Vol. 2
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Caught by Surprise...
I'm sticking a finger
One in each ear
To try and silence
The noise that I hear
The sound of a car
The honk of a horn
To indicate anger
Not just of danger to warn
People are yelling
Insulting with names
The cause long since gone
Yet the noise still remains
I close my eyes tightly
With hope it will help
Then there's screeching of tires
As I hear a dog yelp
My eyes open widely
I fear what I'll see
I'm caught by surprise
At a dog next to me
His eyes are closed tightly
His paws on his ears
Guess I'm not the only one
Who doesn't like what I hear
By: T.J. Christoff ©
My Patchwork Heart: Vol. 2
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Carry Me Away...
Carry me away
Great north winds that blow
Catch me drifting
Like an insignificant flake of snow
Pull me down
Roaring ocean tide
Wash me away
In your darkest depths to reside
Funnel cloud twisting
Tearing your path
Carry me away
From life's torrents of wrath
Clock of my life
With each beat of my chest
A great yearning grows stronger
A desire only to rest
Carry me away
Let me take my last breath
What once was worth living for
'tis no longer left
By: T.J. Christoff ©
My Patchwork Heart: Vol. 2
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Invisible Me...
Invisible Me
That's what you see
As you search the forced smile on my face
Nothing left there
No desire to care
My life I wish to erase
I go through my day
Nothing much to say
I fear being misunderstood
I would hand you my heart
So you could see the real me
If only I believed that you would
You forget how to care
'til I'm no longer there
Then you wonder what happened to me
The change took place slowly
The signs began early
But you chose not to see
By: T.J. Christoff ©
My Patchwork Heart: Vol. 2
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What's the Point...
What's the point
In trying hard
To become my very best
Just to find out
In the end
All I feel is more regret
What's the point
In opening up
In voicing my concern
Instead of justice
What I seem to get
Is the feeling of being burned
What's the point
In living life
In a world I don't belong
Believing no matter
How hard I try
I'll always end up wrong
What's the point
Of my existence
Amongst this human race
If what I see
When I look at me
Is simply wasted space
By: T.J. Christoff ©
My Patchwork Heart: Vol. 2
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The Realm of Love...
I live in a world
Where nothing is sure
Lessons to learn
Pain to endure
Love's lost once found
Silence becomes the sound
Filling my heart
As my tears hit the ground
My soul's quest for peace
Despite this place
Resides outside
Earths human race
In a realm where pain
Will not be found
The comfort of knowing
Love is abound
By: T.J. Christoff ©
My Patchwork Heart: Vol. 2
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Count the Cost...
Speak to me
To my heart and my soul
The words of Your wisdom
You want others to know
Speak Your truth
That others must hear
To release their doubt
To vanquish their fear
Speak Your love
Through Your beauty and grace
Let all who pass
See Your love in my face
Speak to me
Make straight my way
That I may rest in Your glory
Each and every day
Speak through me
Through the words of my speech
To the desperate downtrodden
For You to reach
Speak to me
When I'm feeling lost
Remind me always
To count the cost
By: T.J. Christoff ©
My Patchwork Heart: Vol. 2
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I Just Want to Know...
I just want to know
How long I'll have to try
To fight this battle that I fight
To choose to live or die
I just want to know
How long I'll have to wait
To feel like I am truly loved
To find my true soul mate
I just want to know
When the pain I feel will end
When peace and joy will fill my heart
That seems always on the mend
I just want to know
The choice that I should make
To know each time I choose to live
It isn't another mistake
By: T.J. Christoff ©
My Patchwork Heart: Vol. 2
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Salty the Beautiful Mermaid...
I heard a tale of a mermaid
Salty was her name
Known well by Islanders far and wide
Through fable she grew her fame
Her skin glistened a golden bronze
Beneath a mane of flowing brown
Her smile would leave you speechless
Her eyes spoke when no words could be found
However there was a time or two
As the story often goes
When Salty would speak to a lucky few
Though always cautious in whom she chose
She would tell of great adventures
Of when she swam from coast to coast
Searching for her one true love
For that's what Salty longed for most
It's said that on a full moon night
When stars blanket across the sky
Salty can shed her tail for a bit
And with legs walk the dunes nearby
If you should happen upon her
And she finds you a suitable fit
She'll have you trading your legs for a tail
With one sweet and passionate kiss
Soon you'll find yourself swimming along
Seeking adventures from coast to coast
With Salty the beautiful mermaid beside you
The mermaid that loves you the most
By: T.J. Christoff ©
My Patchwork Heart: Vol. 2
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Precious Memories...
Ollie, Ollie, in come free
Tag you're it
Home base, I'm free
Move your feet
Lose your seat
No tap backs
And other wise cracks
A whistle from Dad
Was what we heard
Saying, "Get your butts home!"
Without so much as a word
The days of being
A kid are gone
Yet precious memories
Still linger on
By: T.J. Christoff ©
My Patchwork Heart: Vol. 2
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Painful Thoughts...
Crazy ideas
Fill my head
Times when I wished
That I was dead
Painful thoughts
From memories
An emotional cross
To crucify me
It feels so real
Like a stake through my heart
From this earth
I've longed to depart
But I must stay
I know not why
To live life lonely
Until I die
Abandoned by lovers
I thought would stay
Left alone in the world
To find my way
An aching soul
Within this flesh
All I want now
Is to take my rest
By: T.J. Christoff ©
My Patchwork Heart: Vol. 2
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Revisiting the Past - My Patchwork Heart: Vol. 2 (2010-2014)
Search My Soul...
Break my heart
Wear me down
I'm tired of hiding
Behind the guise of a clown
Let me cry
Allow me to fear
Until it's You
I always draw near
Let me feel loneliness
Allow me to doubt
Until it's Your name
The world hears me shout
Let me know pain
Like never before
Until it is You
I seek to adore
Search my soul God
Mend my heart
Bless my life
With a brand new start
By: T.J. Christoff ©
My Patchwork Heart: Vol. 2
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Among this Human Race...
I wonder what you'd see
If you took a look inside
Would you notice what I don't talk about
The things I try to hide
Would you see the broken pieces
Of a lost and troubled soul
Would you walk away and realize
I'm someone you don't know
Would you see the scars and bruises
From pain of distant past
Would you notice the pain and aching felt
From love that didn't last
Would you feel a sense of sadness
Wondering how you never knew
Somehow feeling guilty
Like my salvation was up to you
Well let me reassure you
I really am okay
It's just that on occasion
I tend to feel this way
Sad and beaten down
Dejected and alone
I find myself longing
For God to call me home
But then I look around
And take another breath
Realizing once again
How truly I am blessed
I pick myself back up
Put a smile on my face
I find my place once again
Among this human race
By: T.J. Christoff ©
My Patchwork Heart: Vol. 2
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This Life's Walk...
You try your best
To put me in a box
Close down the lid
Lock tight all the locks
Despite your efforts
Someday you will see
Your box is too big
And yet too small for me
Your box is too small
For I am grand
I can't be contained
By mere mortal man
Your box is too large
For I do not exist
As you perceive me to be
When your eyes give a twist
I'm of the Divine
The Creator of all
I'm no Humpty Dumpty
Sitting idly by on a wall
I'm not likely the person
You think me to be
There's depth and stillness
Contemplation and glee
You think that you know me
But how deep did you go
Did you stop at the surface
Or have you searched for my soul
Before you place me
In a box to conform
Listen close to my prompting
Take heed as I warn
Life is a journey
With many dreams to fulfill
So don't be afraid
To let go of the wheel
We all have our differences
Struggles and such
Gifts that are given
For the lives that we touch
So don't hold me down
Or try to confine me to a box
Take hold of my hand
Join me on this life's walk
By: T.J. Christoff ©
My Patchwork Heart: Vol. 2
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Life's Wanderer...
I'm a wanderer in life
Forging my path
Shining my light
I seek nothing back
I travel the roads
Where few choose to go
Learning and loving
At times letting go
I trust the Divine
To light my way
Filling me with peace
Each and every day
My journey has taught me
To give always my best
Hold onto the blessings
Forgo all the rest
To all of life's wanderers
Until next we meet
May you always find joy
On life's weary street
By: T.J. Christoff ©
My Patchwork Heart: Vol. 2
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Ready to Exit Stage Left...
I ache to check out
Of this world that I live in
And return to the place
Where I know all's forgiven
I've had enough
Of a life formed from dust
Where deception and coldness
Steals all of my trust
My life feels empty
All joy seems gone
I don't know how
I am to carry on
I fight every day
Just to take my next breath
Surrounded by gray skies
Life vultures feeding on death
I cry all alone
So you can't possibly see
The sorrow that fills
The cavernous depths of me
What is the purpose
Of a life such as this
When most of my days
Are filled with pain and distress
I'm ready to leave
Ready to exit stage left
Leaving behind all the losses
Of which have left me bereft
By: T.J. Christoff ©
My Patchwork Heart: Vol. 2
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My K-9 Co-Pilot...
You wriggle and wiggle
You twist all around
With a smile on your face
You make your cute puppy-dog sounds
You wag your tail
Lift my hand with your head
Sometimes you're more content
Rubbing your body against my bed
As I say those words
You long to hear
"Let's go bye-bye"
You perk up your ears
It's a race to the door
Like a horse out of a gate
For once the words are spoken
There's no time to wait
It never seems to matter
Where our travels may lead
Life is always better
When my K-9 co-pilot's with me
By: T.J. Christoff ©
My Patchwork Heart: Vol. 2
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"Mom's Gone"...
"Mom's gone"
Were the words that I heard
That broke my heart
And severed a nerve
I was too late
To say good-bye
I hung up the phone
And began to cry
In an instant my life
Became dark and bleak
So much to say
Yet I could not speak
How could this happen
What was the cause
What was the lesson
To take away from such loss
Your suffering had ended
As mine would begin
Holding onto my faith
I know I'll see you again
I miss you mommy
More and more every day
Life just hasn't been the same
Since you went away
By: T.J. Christoff ©
My Patchwork Heart: Vol. 2
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Frozen in Motion...
The hands of time
Twisting
Turning
Calling us late
Past and future
Never really exist
Leaving nothing to dwell on
Nor to make a wish
An instant then gone
Like a flash of lght
Frozen in motion
An unforgiving plight
Hopes and dreams
Come and go
With passing of time
We never truly know
The birth of memories
From moments past
Without time in the future
Yet still these memories last
By: T.J. Christoff ©
My Patchwork Heart: Vol. 2
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I Feel Like a Pawn...
I feel like a pawn
In this game of life
Most every move I make
Foreshadowed by strife
I feel like a pawn
Never getting very far
Lacking in beauty
What I touch I mar
I feel like a pawn
Unloved and a mess
A misgiven soul
Possessing this flesh
I feel like a pawn
In a game meant to lose
It makes no difference
The roads that I choose
I feel like a pawn
In a game that won't end
Keeping me from home
Where I long to ascend
By: T.J. Christoff ©
My Patchwork Heart: Vol. 2
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A Journey of Roads..
I watch the lights change
Green, yellow then red
Warning "Be careful!"
Stop up ahead
As I think of my life
The warnings were there
Proceed with caution, stop!
Carry on without care
Signals to help me
To guide safely along
Reminding me always
To choose right over wrong
I've made some mistakes
All along my way
I've stopped when I should have went
Went when I should have stayed
Each mistake brought with it
A lesson to learn
Look left, right, left
Before making a turn
This suit of flesh
My soul doeth wear
To accomplish many tasks
As it tarries here
A journey of roads
Paved, tattered and worn
Each in its own way
Leading me home
By: T.J. Christoff ©
My Patchwork Heart: Vol. 2
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Disillusioned...
Disillusioned...
By time
By distance
By words unspoken
Disillusioned...
By deeds
By actions
By shattered dreams
Disillusioned...
By thoughts
By feelings
By missed opportunities
Disillusioned...
By expectations
By complications
By self-imposed limitations
By: T.J. Christoff ©
My Patchwork Heart: Vol. 2
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Thank God for Dogs...
A soggy nose
Upon my hand
A nudge to throw
The ball again
A wagging tail
To say, "Hello!"
A whine that says
"I want to go"
Muffled barks
Beneath your breath
Chasing bunnies
While at your rest
Co-pilot seated
In passenger chair
Tongue hangs loosely
In highway air
Guarding the castle
While your human's away
Passing the time
In your own little way
Finally it's time
To play again
Thank God for dogs
Human's best friends
By: T.J. Christoff ©
My Patchwork Heart: Vol. 2
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Personal collection
Clickity-Clack...
Clickity-clack
Clickity-clack
I hear a growing rumble
Of a train upon a track
Off in the distane
Whatever could it be
There's black smoke rising
Lonesome whistle calling me
Clickity-clack
Clickity-clack
The closer it draws near
The furhter I'm carried back
To a time of simple pleasures
When life was more carefree
Each time I hear that whistle blow
It's childhood memories that I see
By: T.J. Christoff ©
My Patchwork Heart: Vol. 2
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For All the Love You Gave...
There was so much I didn't know about you...
The things that made you truly happy
The things that brought you pain
The silent things that scared you
Your many unspoken dreams
I didn't know how you were raised
All the things you liked to do
Where you would have liked to live
If it only had been left up to you
I didn't know your favorite color
Which flower you liked most
There was so much I just didn't know
We simply never were that close
But there were some things about you
Strengths you couldn't hide
Things that were so obvious
You didn't have to confide
The selfless nature of your heart
How much you liked to live
The kindness that you showed to others
Every time you chose to give
The love you showed your family
With every sacrifice you made
Thank you mom for all you did
For all the love you gave
By: T.J. Christoff ©
My Patchwork Heart: Vol. 2
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You Forgot Your Orange...
You forgot your orange
It made me sad
I felt certain that for lunch
That was all you had
I picked it up
It had fallen to the floor
It must have happened
As you walked out the door
I looked at that orange
With downcast eyes
The emotions I felt
Would cause me surprise
I wanted to help
To bring it to you
I didn't know where you worked
There was nothing I could do
For years I've thought
Of that orange that I found
The sadness I felt
As it lay on the ground
Yet never did I speak
A word of it to you
We were never close enough
To share emotional issues
Now you are gone
To a place of great bliss
When I think of that orange
It is you that I miss
By: T.J. Christoff ©
My Patchwork Heart: Vol. 2
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Please be Patient...
I make mistakes
I get things wrong
But my intentions are pure
My commitment is strong
I strive to learn
From my mistakes
I'll do whatever I can
Whatever it takes
Please be patient
As I learn and grow
I want to be someone
You're honored to know
By: T.J. Christoff ©
My Patchwork Heart: Vol. 2
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A Man of Honor...
Always strong
Often misunderstood
My father
A man of honor
Gentle yet stern
Lessons to teach and to learn
Growing older now
He's changed somehow
Still not frail
He's aging well
Have I taken in everything I possibly can
From this decent yet sometimes stubborn man
My father
A man of honor
By: T.J. Christoff ©
My Patchwork Heart: Vol. 2
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Personal collection
The Hand of an Angel...
The hand of an angel
Upon my chest
I felt aft I'd gone
To take my rest
Unable to sleep
Through tears I'd cry
This pain will end
Once I die
My first attempt
Then two, then three
I could not rise
What was wrong with me
The hand on my chest
As once before
Held me down
One time more
To get up I could not
Though try as I might
I'd cry myself
To sleep that night
Not knowing what
Would become of me
How someday Spirit
Would set me free
Free to live
My life refreshed
To find true love
I am so blessed
By: T.J. Christoff ©
My Patchwork Heart: Vol. 2
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That Tree...
There is a tree
Standing there
Amidst the elements
Without care
For all who seek
Who search for truth
Buried deep
Within her roots
Poised by wisdom
Born from age
The tree of knowledge
We engage
Each passing day
Adorning views
From Mother Earth's
Loving hues
We gaze in awe
Mouths agape
Her timeless beauty
We cannot escape
Someow transfixed
Upon that tree
We stand amazed
She sets us free
By: T.J. Christoff ©
My Patchwork Heart: Vol. 2
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My Life's Journey...
Living my life
Each and every day
Sometimes I struggle
To find my way
The journey I travel
Is mine alone
Which road shall I take
Which will lead me home
The faces I see
Along my path
Each tells a story
Their life's aftermath
We nod and bid
A kind adieu
To our hearts we are hopeful
Always to remain true
The things I've experienced
My story to tell
I hope someday
To do it well
To make the difference
I was sent to make
So my life's journey
Won't have been a mistake
By: T.J. Christoff ©
My Patchwork Heart: Vol. 2
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When Angels Cry...
When a child goes hungry
Body broken and bruised
That's when Angels cry
When the elderly person
Becomes of no use
That's when Angels cry
When the dog is tortured
As if to amuse
That's when Angels cry
When war and famine
Become old news
That's when Angels cry
When incestuous deeds
Go unnoticed
That's when Angels cry
When the suffering of others
Become their truth
That's when Angels cry
By: T.J. Christoff ©
My Patchwork Heart: Vol. 2
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I'm Grateful for You...
I'm grateful for you
For who you are
The light in your eyes
The joy in your heart
I'm grateful for you
For being so brave
Though you could have left
You chose to stay
I'm grateful for you
The compassion you show
The love you share
Wherever you go
I'm grateful for you
Your kind gentle words
Your passion for life
Is changing this world
By: T.J. Christoff ©
My Patchwork Heart: Vol. 2
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You Took Your Final Bow...
We saw only what you'd show
Yet we really didn't know
The silent pain that filled your heart
The pain you couldn't let go
You hid behind a smile
You hid behind a laugh
Yet the sadness you kept deep inside
Served to cut your life in half
Your life on earth was short
Though your legacy will live
Always bringing joy to others
Was your lot in life to give
You took your final bow
As you entered Heaven's door
Now amusing the Almighty
In claps of thunder, we'll hear His laughter roar!
By: T.J. Christoff ©
My Patchwork Heart: Vol. 2
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