Revisiting the Past - My Patchwork Heart: Vol. 1 (1983-2009)
Pain and Hurt...
It's such a feeling
Deep inside
A lonely feeling
No place to hide
The hurt is there
Both day and night
There for no reason
But just in spite
I try to forget
The troubles I face
From day to day
From place to place
Such a feeling
What does it mean
Is it there for a reason
Or for anything
My friends they think I'm moody
And in fact they're right
But what they do not know
Is that I'm putting up a fight
A fight not like most others
But one inside my heart
One that has been hurting
From the very start
It's hard to say
Or explain what I feel
The hurt that's inside
The pain that's so real
I hope you understand
Just what I'm trying to say
The pain is deep inside
And there it has to stay
By: T.J. Christoff ©
My Patchwork Heart: Vol. 1
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Smile...
Smile when you're feeling down
Smile when you feel like a clown
Smile always every day
Smile those sad tears away
Smile to feel happy
Smile to feel good
Smile every chance you get
Everyone really should
I know sometimes it's hard
But do your best and try
Because it's sad for those who care
And it hurts to see you cry
By: T.J. Christoff ©
My Patchwork Heart: Vol. 1
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You Were There...
When I needed you
You were there
When I cried out at night after a terrible dream
You were there
When I thought the ropes of life
Were trying to tie me down
You were there to set me free
Before I ever knew You
You were right behind me
Waiting to pick me up if I fell
You have always been here
With me and for me
You have never let me down
You've let me know I can trust You
In ways no one else has tried
You've shown how much You love me
When on the cross for me You died
By: T.J. Christoff ©
My Patchwork Heart: Vol. 1
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All I Ever Wanted...
All I ever wanted
Was a place I could call home
A place I could feel safe
And not so all alone
All I ever wanted
Was a loving hug or two
But mostly what I felt I got
Was hurt and neglect from you
The pain from words and welts and bruises
Soon was nothing new
But the scars they left behind
Are there yet not to view
By: T.J. Christoff ©
My Patchwork Heart: Vol. 1
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We Must Continue to Climb...
Life is nothing more
Than an extended period of time
With many roads untraveled
With many mountains to climb
We set our goals not knowing
If ever those goals we will meet
Yet we keep on reaching higher
Not willing to face defeat
We gladly face the challenge
As we muster our strength from within
We take a deep breath and sigh a bit
As our journey through life we begin
We know there will be some struggles
For those mountains we climb may be high
But our goals we surely will never reach
If we choose to not even try
So, although our roads may be long
And we're sure to tire through time
Just remember that to reach our goals
We must always continue to climb
By: T.J. Christoff ©
My Patchwork Heart: Vol. 1
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Lost in Thought...
Every day
Longer yet somehow shorter than the day before
Decisions to make
Unseen results from choice or fate
Wanting to rest
From life's weary tests
Direction -
Coming and going
Without knowing where or even why
Each day a gift
A world to explore
Life's tragedies
To learn from or abhor
Challenges to face
So much to endure
Needing rest
Yet wanting more
Wondering if the day after
Will be as it was the day before
This is my life
Nothing less and nothing more
By: T.J. Christoff ©
My Patchwork Heart: Vol. 1
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I Might Choose Suicide...
It's dark in here
So hard to see
The choice that's best
To make for me
Would anyone notice
If I weren't here
My heart's so full
Of pain and fear
A sensitive soul
This time around
I try to speak
But there's never a sound
Shall I bandage my wrist
Perhaps that will do
A silent attempt
To talk to you
To make the choice
I must confide
Will result from what
My heart won't hide
How do I tell you
How I struggle inside
With the fear that someday
I might choose suicide
By: T.J. Christoff ©
My Patchwork Heart: Vol. 1
Image:
Personal collection
Sticks and Stones...
Sticks and stones
Bruise and break bones
While mean words pierce the heart
When heard at a young age
Such words set the stage
For a lifetime filled with hurt
You laugh as I cry
Then wonder why
What I feel for you is disdain
I wish that just once
You could feel what I feel
But I doubt you could handle the pain
While your life goes on
I am the one
About whose feelings you didn't care
Now I am left
To try and mend
My heart that's in need of repair
By: T.J. Christoff ©
My Patchwork Heart: Vol. 1
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I Am Me...
To you I'm like a stone
Something to be skipped, tossed or thrown
To you, I'm like a stone
To you I'm like a little thing
Seldom ever looked at and never really seen
To you, I'm like a little thing
To you I'm like a rock
Something to be kicked, picked up and then dropped
To you, I'm like a rock
I am what you don't see
There's a gem inside and it's me
I am what you don't see
Like the diamond that started out as a stone
The value of which took time to be known
My worth in this world will someday be shown
Like a piece of sand that becomes a great pearl
Through will and sheer persistence, you'll see
I am no longer a helpless little girl...I am me
By: T.J. Christoff ©
My Patchwork Heart: Vol. 1
Image:
Personal collection
A Dream...
Life -
Like quicksand
In which I stand
Sinking, sinking
With each breath I take
Each slight move I make
I am pulled further down
Slowly I shall drown
The smell surrounds me
The muck, the mire
Life
Here but only for awhile
The crushing of my body
The muddy weight of earth's black hole
Holding me
Drawing the life from me
To fight is to die
To wait is to die
So how do I get by
This certain death that awaits me
With each breath I take
Slowly I awake
A dream
Ah, but a dream
By: T.J. Christoff ©
My Patchwork Heart: Vol. 1
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Mysterious One...
Who are you mysterious one
With the dark eyes I no longer recognize
Whose reflection do I see
Looking empty staring back at me
No longer round
Your eyes shape and size
What is this I see
Suddenly so unfamiliar to me
Searching this looking glass
Your answers belie
Who am I looking at
'tis no longer I
Fear is setting in
Not knowing what I should do
I never thought that we would meet
Now you're giving me a glimpse of you
Who are you that possess my soul
Some distant pain, evil or woe
Your job has finally come to an end
Now we must both find a way to let go
Were you my protector
My friend or foe
Did you keep my mind safe
All those years ago
I fear you now
This new face you're showing
I stand here in shock
My anxiety growing
We must part ways
Your job here is through
You were always a part of me
The pain I felt You always knew
I'm letting you go
You've done your job well
Walking me safely into life
From a lifetime of hell
By: T.J. Christoff ©
My Patchwork Heart: Vol. 1
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The Executioner...
When will it stop
This overwhelming ache which feasts on my heart
Slowly it sucks the life-blood from me
Like a leech on a wounded animal
Its presence a constant reminder
Of the impending death that is sure to follow
The sound is deafening within my heart
Yet it is silent
As if it exists within a vacuum
I feel its existence
Which seems known only to me
A cross I was somehow cursed to bear
I search my soul for answers
But I find none
I search the faces of others
Wondering if I suffer this fate alone
It's a constant battle
A war that never seems to end
It's wearing me down slowly
Quietly
The silence
A death sentence waiting to be served
But what crime did I commit
I know not who was the judge
Nor whom the jury
But life -
The executioner
By: T.J. Christoff ©
My Patchwork Heart: Vol. 1
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The Beast is at My Door...
The beast is at my door
I've seen His face before
Though different every time
He has only one thing in mind
He wants to see me fall
My faith come crashing down
However what He's yet to learn
My courage will always abound
My journey's been long and hard
Through fire I've forged my strength
With every trial I grow stronger
Though the beast would like me weak
The beast is at my door
He has evil for a soul
With deception in His eyes
He attempts to lead me astray with lies
The beast is at my door
And He's determined to get in
But again I'll call on my faith and strength
And I'll defeat Him in the end
By: T.J. Christoff ©
My Patchwork Heart: Vol. 1
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And So, the Journey Goes...
She counted all our fingers
She counted all our toes
As each she brought us into this world
And so, the journey goes
She watched us crawl
She watched us grow
Fixed the sleeves inside our coats
Before letting us play in the snow
She had the warmest smile
A heart more precious than gold
And when it came to doing laundry
There was a right and wrong way to fold!
All through our lives
Her lessons were strong
Still as adults came reminders
To "Put clean underwear on"
We had our differences
Struggles to work through
Yet never having to wonder
How deep her love ran true
Her time to rest has come
Her life of teaching done
If ever asked who raised us so well
We will proudly say she was the one
And so the journey goes
As now we must carry on
But not without a lifetime of thanks
And we owe it all to mom!
By: T.J. Christoff ©
My Patchwork Heart: Vol. 1
Image:
Personal collection
I Wear A Mask, Who Am I...
I wear a mask
To hide my pain
Who am I?
I wear a mask
To hide countless tears cried in vain
Who am I?
I wear a mask
To hide those things I fear
Who am I?
I wear a mask
Who am I?
I am the child
That needed to feel loved
I am the adult
That's unsure how to love
I am the teenager
Who pushed those I cared about away
I am the adult that holds on so tight
Those I love find it hard to stay
I wear a mask
To hide my pain
I wear a mask
To hide countless tears cried in vain
I wear a mask
To hide those things I fear
I wear a mask
Who am I?
I am your friend
I am the one who thought suicide was a means to an end
I am the one who drinks alone
I am the one, you remember
We spoke on the phone
I wear a mask
That's hard to see
I wear a mask to protect me
Who am I?
By: T.J. Christoff ©
My Patchwork Heart: Vol. 1
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There Is A Plan For You...
Now I think
I finally see
There really is
A plan for me
The life I thought
Had been a mistake
I'm finding now
Was my journey to make
Each path I've traveled
Every choice I have made
Has held for me the lesson
I don't have to be afraid
Every tear I've cried
Has had a purpose too
During this life long journey
Leading me to you
There will always be some trials
Some tribulations too
But deep down in your heart please know
There is a plan for you
By: T.J. Christoff ©
My Patchwork Heart: Vol. 1
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Seasons of Life...
The autumn leaves are turning now
Their colors warm and bright
It's an irony to behold you see
Their beauty and end of life
Soon the trees will be all bare
Naked branches all around
The sign of life and death
Scattered about the ground
The leaves which were once so beautiful
Shades of red, yellow and gold
Their destiny in life too short
Are now dirty, gray and old
The northern winds are blowing
Winter starts as fall must end
Leading us slowly into another season
A season where life begins
By: T.J. Christoff ©
My Patchwork Heart: Vol. 1
Image:
https://medium.com/tree-bath/how-fall-foliage-can-affect-our-mental-health-7c1ffc6e2732
The Fragile Me...
I let you see the fragile me
My vulnerable-ability
The fear that pushes me to flee
From a past so often unkind to me
I let you see a part of me
That even I am still afraid to see
Despite this harsh reality
You saw my pain and were kind to me
My deepest hurts
Like steel chains unseen
Keeping me bound
As if to some bad dream
These walls I try
So hard to bring down
Like a dirt trodden path
To my old stomping ground
A nightmare of sorts
Those thoughts fill my head
Refusing to leave
They lay dormant not dead
They lurk in the shadows
Just waiting to pounce
To steal my joy
Refusing to leave an ounce
By: T.J. Christoff ©
My Patchwork Heart: Vol. 1
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...And Then, I Got Older...
I was just a little thing
When I came into this world
Helpless in so many ways
Unable to speak a word
...and then, I got older
When I was a few years older
Not more than three or four
I cried until I couldn't breathe
As my daddy went off to war
...and then, I got older
When I was ten or eleven
I loved both my mom and dad
But with age my hormones were starting to rage
And my parents were making me mad
...and then, I got older
Not long after I turned sixteen
I felt my world was falling apart
I thought about taking some drugs
To stop the beating of my heart
...and then, I got older
Slowly I turned thirty
Often wanting my life to end
Doubting I'd be able to find the strength
To face another new day again
...and then, I got older
Only months after I turned forty
My mother took her last breath
And I realized when she passed away
There is no joy to be found in death
...and then, I got older
By: T.J. Christoff ©
My Patchwork Heart: Vol. 1
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Angry Words...
Angry words spoken
In the heat of a fight
Standing your ground
Though you know you're not right
Spewing out insults
As quick as you can
Inflicting deep wounds
Without raising a hand
The mean things you say
The harsh words you use
Combined with "I love you"
Only serve to confuse
The sight of me crying
Seems to bring you delight
Every teardrop that falls
Is like fuel for the fight
By: T.J. Christoff ©
My Patchwork Heart: Vol. 1
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Hush My Soul...
Hush my soul
The pain you bear
As darkness falls
Your silent fear
Hush my soul
Those sad tears
Lost love mourned
'Ore so many years
Hush my soul
Your burning heartache
The emptiness you feel
This road that's yours to take
Hush my soul
When desire is yours to end
The life that you've been given
Wondering why it ever began
Hush my soul
When death knocks at your door
This battle you must win
You must deny the reaper once more
By: T.J. Christoff ©
My Patchwork Heart: Vol. 1
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Contemplation...
There's darkness in my heart
I seem to exist without feeling
As if frozen in time
I move yet somehow feel inanimate
I wonder what you see when you look at me
Do you look beneath my dying surface
Do you hear my hidden soul crying out for answers
Do you notice me at all
I feel a cold chill enter this shell that is my body
I wonder if my existence was a mistake
I contemplate life
My origin and my destiny
What is the purpose of life
What is its value
Who determines our worth
Does it increase or become less valuable with time
Would the world have been different without me
One less ripple in the ocean of life
What time on the clock of life will be mine
What shall be my lot
By: T.J. Christoff ©
My Patchwork Heart: Vol. 1
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Big City Blues...
I'm destitute
But I'm resolute
To change some of my ways
Gonna try and undo
Some of the things I've done
In search of better days
There's holes in the tops
There's holes in the soles
Of my worn-out pair of shoes
From spending my life
Walkin' 'round this town
Tryin' to lose these big city blues
I've seen lots of places
On some run-down faces
Some places even I've never been
Wondered what it'd be like
To spend the night
At someone's house or a Holidy Inn
But tonight I'll sleep on a sidewalk
Just me and some of my friends
And tomorrow if I wake up
I'll start walking these streets again
By: T.J. Christoff ©
My Patchwork Heart: Vol. 1
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Some Blessings of Life...
Ice cream on
A hot summer's day
Hot chocolate to warm
Winter chills away
The sun on my face
While in the water I play
A two hour nap
In the middle of the day
An unexpected call
From a long lost friend
Being surprised by the way
A good movie did end
Taking a long walk
On a clear quiet night
Only moon and stars
As my guiding light
The smell of a puppy's breath
Soon after it's born
The excitement of children
On a snowy Christmas morn'
These are just some
Of the blessings of life
A few simple things
That bring me delight
By: T.J. Christoff ©
My Patchwork Heart: Vol. 1
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Paralyzed by Fear...
The bitter cold of winter
Creeps silently through my veins
Burning my body with numbing pain
In the dark of night
I sit quietly alone
Paralyzed by fear of the unknown
What evil lurks in the darkness
Waiting to dine upon my flesh
Anxiously waiting to steal my last breath
How is it that I came to be
Afraid to show my face
I feel my heart beginning to race
I'm growing weary
I feel the end is near
My thoughts seem scattered and unclear
I hear a loud noise as I gasp for air
I awake to my alarm clock
There's no longer a need for fear
By: T.J. Christoff ©
My Patchwork Heart: Vol. 1
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Now That You're Gone...
I've thought of you often
More now that you're gone
Remembering our past
The things we did wrong
We were never as close
As we could have been
You were always my mother
But never really my friend
You let me down
I let you down too
But there was so much about me
Things I wonder if you knew
Did you feel my pain
When I cried all alone
In the dark of my bedroom
In the house you called home
Could you sense the hurt
Filling my heart all along
Were you aware that I felt
As though I didn't belong
Did you care that your words
Sometimes cut like a knife
The hurtful things you've said
I've carried around all my life
I have to admit
I made mistakes too
For so long I refused
Just to say, "I love you"
There was hate in my heart
That hate was toward you
I felt so ashamed
I felt you hated me too
As time passed slowly
My love for you grew
I could finally offer freely
The words, "I love you"
How could I have known
While on the hospital bed you lay
Soon I'd be left to regret
The things I never took time to say
In the blink of an eye
Your life came to an end
You died as my mother
And in many ways, as a friend
I hope someday I'll see you again
For in this world you could no longer wait
Should I be blessed to enter Heaven, Mom
I pray you'll meet me at the gate
By: T.J. Christoff ©
My Patchwork Heart: Vol. 1
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Mamma's Christmas Tree...
Mamma made Christmas special
Starting with a tree that was green and bare
She turned it into the most beautiful sight
Complete with tinsel and Angel hair
I watched with sheer amazement
As she would decorate the tree
Every ornament was placed just right
A sight for all to see
She worked with an artist's eye
As each ornament she hung
Making sure each and every branch
Was graced with at least one
When it came to stringing the lights
She had a knack it's true
Regardless if the lights were of many colors
Or just a solid blue
When Christmas morning came
Underneath the tree there would be
The most perfectly wrapped presents
For all in our family
Yes, Mamma made Christmas special
Starting with a tree that was green and bare
She turned it into the most beautiful sight
Complete with tinsel and Angel hair
By: T.J. Christoff ©
My Patchwork Heart: Vol. 1
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Wild Innocence...
The gentle spirit
Of child and horse
Drawn together
By nature's force
A silent curiosity
To each unknown
Belonging together
They're never alone
The darkest eyes
The quietest nay
As child giggles
In mutual play
A pat on the head
A nudge from his nose
Trying to get closer
He stands on his toes
A heartfelt respect
Between horse and child
Both of them tame
Both of them wild
By: T.J. Christoff ©
My Patchwork Heart: Vol. 1
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You're Not Just Along for the Ride...
When life gets you down
As it sometimes will
When your road in life
Seems all up hill
When you're tired of existing
In a world full of lies
When you want to be selfish
Choose compromise
When disgust fills your heart
From hurt and dismay
When life gets you down
Go on anyway
When you see the pain
In another's eyes
When it's no longer the old
But the young who are wise
When you want to give up
And call it a day
Instead of throwing in the towel
Wipe your tears away
When the fear of the unknown
Tries to hold you back
When you feel like breaking down
Instead choose to laugh
Listen to your soul
As it leads the way
Giving you courage to face
Yet another day
Listen to your soul
That voice deep inside
A soft constant reminder
You're not just along for the ride
By: T.J. Christoff ©
My Patchwork Heart: Vol. 1
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Disconnected...
Disconnected
All ties cut
Lump in my throat
Knot in my gut
Eyes burning
Countless tears fall
No choices left
My back's to the wall
Breath is short
Gasping for air
Head is hurting
So full of fear
Want to hold on
Have to let go
So many questions
Things I'll never know
Honoring you
Taking care of me
Lessons in life
Don't come for free
Looking for answers
Wondering why
Don't want to give up
Though it's futile to try
Totally confused
Sitting alone I cry
You gave no reason
When you said good-bye
By: T.J. Christoff ©
My Patchwork Heart: Vol. 1
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My Patchwork Heart...
How many patches
'til it's no longer mine
This heart that's been mended
So many times
How many cuts
Deep, shallow and through
Sewing each one closed
Turning my red heart to blue
How much suffering
How much pain must I bear
Carefully hiding each wound
Trying to pretend they aren't there
Each patch comes together
Trying hard to restore
My torn tattered heart
So I can go on once more
When is it no longer
My heart anymore
Covered by layers of patches
Mentally preparing for more
My patchwork heart
So tattered and torn
Like an old pair of jeans
So heavily worn
By: T.J. Christoff ©
My Patchwork Heart: Vol. 1
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Music...
Music...
Like warmth to my heart
Like peace to my soul
Fills my spirit with joy
Makes my life whole
Music...
Like magic it transports me
Back in time
Easily bringing
Lost memories to mind
Music...
Makes me laugh
Makes me cry
Picks me up when I'm down
Gives me wings to fly
Music...
A soothing voice
Deep inside
A place I know
I can safely hide
Music...
Never judging me
For choices I've made
Knows who I am
Yet comforts anyway
Music...
Often conveys
The things that I feel
Its mysterious workings
So oftern surreal
By: T.J. Christoff ©
My Patchwork Heart: Vol. 1
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Kindness Matters...
Kindness matters
On our journey through life
Kindness matters
When faced with strife
Kindness matters
When depression hits
When feeling abandoned and alone
Kindness matters quite a bit
Kindness matters
When we struggle with a chore
When it's an elderly person needing help
Kindness matters even more
Kindness matters
When someone if afraid
Kindness matters
To the child selling lemonade
Kindness matters
Each and every day
It's important to show kindness
In every possible way
By: T.J. Christoff ©
My Patchwork Heart: Vol. 1
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Is Anything Really What it Seems...
Is anything in life
Ever really what it seems
Is perception really reality
Are dreams really dreams
Is a lie just the truth
Stretched as far as it can be
When you look at something with someone else
Do you really see what they see
A sworn eyewitness account
Of a crime that just occurred
Would likely be as accurate
As someone deaf recalling what they heard
Does space go on forever
Or have we just not found its end
When death takes us out of this world
Do we start all over again
If you saw a pool of water
In the middle of the desserts heat
Would you think it just a mirage
Would you move toward it or in doubt retreat
What if life as we know it
Was really some larger entity's dream
And everything we think we know
Is just part of the dreamer's scheme
Would you play your part any differently
Is there another role you'd like to play
Or would you sit in constant fear
Wondering if the entity will awake today
By: T.J. Christoff ©
My Patchwork Heart: Vol. 1
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When Memories Fade...
When my memories fade
I wonder where they go
The names and faces and special places
I thought I'd always know
Looking at faded pictures
Of life long ago I see
A smile that looks familiar
Staring back at me
Why do my memories fade
Those memories I used to adore
Precious moments from long ago
Could it be to make room for more
When my memories fade
I wonder where they go
Are they lost in timeless space
Or do they become the core of my soul
By: T.J. Christoff ©
My Patchwork Heart: Vol. 1
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Ashes to Ashes...
I replied with, "We would kill each other"
That's when we both started to laugh
When you asked if I'd let you live with me
Should something ever happen to Dad
There was truth behind those words I spoke
And we both knew it was true
As there existed a love hate relationship
For a long time between me and you
As time went by
It was our love that wouldn't die
Our discontent with each other was through
Then much too fast
Your time on earth passed
And I've never stopped missing you
Ashes to ashes and dust to dust
The result for us all
Not a choice but a must
Such was the case
As your soul shared life's space
Back to ashes and dust you flit
The irony I'd see
Is that your last joke was on me
For on my mantle your ashes now sit
By: T.J. Christoff ©
My Patchwork Heart: Vol. 1
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Revisiting the Past - My Patchwork Heart: Vol. 2 (2010-2014)
Invisible Lance...
Weary of this life
The steps I take are slow
Ready to find peace
'tis home I long to go
I bear the weight of chains unseen
A burden on my heart
Each breath I take is labored
From this hell I wish to part
This course I'm on my soul did set
Long before I was conceived
Lessons to be taught and learned
Until death I am relieved
Flesh and blood of human form
Nothing more my oppressors see
Lacking depth of knowledge
Of the soul that's truly me
Hurtful words oft' spoken
The cut of a hateful glance
Piercing my heart I'm left for dead
By the blade of an invisible lance
By: T.J. Christoff ©
My Patchwork Heart: Vol. 2
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Show Love...
Show love to others
When your enemy strikes
Wielding hateful words
That cut like a knife
Show love to others
To those you despise
For you know not all
The pain in their lives
Show love to those
Who beg on the street
Be thankful their shoes
Aren't the one's on your feet
Show love to others
When they speak your name
Not with good will
But just to defame
Show love to others
When love's hard to find
Show the evil
How to be kind
Show love to others
In everything that you do
Be accepting of love
As it comes back to you
By: T.J. Christoff ©
My Patchwork Heart: Vol. 2
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Caught by Surprise...
I'm sticking a finger
One in each ear
To try and silence
The noise that I hear
The sound of a car
The honk of a horn
To indicate anger
Not just of danger to warn
People are yelling
Insulting with names
The cause long since gone
Yet the noise still remains
I close my eyes tightly
With hope it will help
Then there's screeching of tires
As I hear a dog yelp
My eyes open widely
I fear what I'll see
I'm caught by surprise
At a dog next to me
His eyes are closed tightly
His paws on his ears
Guess I'm not the only one
Who doesn't like what I hear
By: T.J. Christoff ©
My Patchwork Heart: Vol. 2
Image:
Carry Me Away...
Carry me away
Great north winds that blow
Catch me drifting
Like an insignificant flake of snow
Pull me down
Roaring ocean tide
Wash me away
In your darkest depths to reside
Funnel cloud twisting
Tearing your path
Carry me away
From life's torrents of wrath
Clock of my life
With each beat of my chest
A great yearning grows stronger
A desire only to rest
Carry me away
Let me take my last breath
What once was worth living for
'tis no longer left
By: T.J. Christoff ©
My Patchwork Heart: Vol. 2
Image:
Invisible Me...
Invisible Me
That's what you see
As you search the forced smile on my face
Nothing left there
No desire to care
My life I wish to erase
I go through my day
Nothing much to say
I fear being misunderstood
I would hand you my heart
So you could see the real me
If only I believed that you would
You forget how to care
'til I'm no longer there
Then you wonder what happened to me
The change took place slowly
The signs began early
But you chose not to see
By: T.J. Christoff ©
My Patchwork Heart: Vol. 2
Image:
What's the Point...
What's the point
In trying hard
To become my very best
Just to find out
In the end
All I feel is more regret
What's the point
In opening up
In voicing my concern
Instead of justice
What I seem to get
Is the feeling of being burned
What's the point
In living life
In a world I don't belong
Believing no matter
How hard I try
I'll always end up wrong
What's the point
Of my existence
Amongst this human race
If what I see
When I look at me
Is simply wasted space
By: T.J. Christoff ©
My Patchwork Heart: Vol. 2
Image:
The Realm of Love...
I live in a world
Where nothing is sure
Lessons to learn
Pain to endure
Love's lost once found
Silence becomes the sound
Filling my heart
As my tears hit the ground
My soul's quest for peace
Despite this place
Resides outside
Earths human race
In a realm where pain
Will not be found
The comfort of knowing
Love is abound
By: T.J. Christoff ©
My Patchwork Heart: Vol. 2
Image:
Count the Cost...
Speak to me
To my heart and my soul
The words of Your wisdom
You want others to know
Speak Your truth
That others must hear
To release their doubt
To vanquish their fear
Speak Your love
Through Your beauty and grace
Let all who pass
See Your love in my face
Speak to me
Make straight my way
That I may rest in Your glory
Each and every day
Speak through me
Through the words of my speech
To the desperate downtrodden
For You to reach
Speak to me
When I'm feeling lost
Remind me always
To count the cost
By: T.J. Christoff ©
My Patchwork Heart: Vol. 2
Image:
I Just Want to Know...
I just want to know
How long I'll have to try
To fight this battle that I fight
To choose to live or die
I just want to know
How long I'll have to wait
To feel like I am truly loved
To find my true soul mate
I just want to know
When the pain I feel will end
When peace and joy will fill my heart
That seems always on the mend
I just want to know
The choice that I should make
To know each time I choose to live
It isn't another mistake
By: T.J. Christoff ©
My Patchwork Heart: Vol. 2
Image:
Salty the Beautiful Mermaid...
I heard a tale of a mermaid
Salty was her name
Known well by Islanders far and wide
Through fable she grew her fame
Her skin glistened a golden bronze
Beneath a mane of flowing brown
Her smile would leave you speechless
Her eyes spoke when no words could be found
However there was a time or two
As the story often goes
When Salty would speak to a lucky few
Though always cautious in whom she chose
She would tell of great adventures
Of when she swam from coast to coast
Searching for her one true love
For that's what Salty longed for most
It's said that on a full moon night
When stars blanket across the sky
Salty can shed her tail for a bit
And with legs walk the dunes nearby
If you should happen upon her
And she finds you a suitable fit
She'll have you trading your legs for a tail
With one sweet and passionate kiss
Soon you'll find yourself swimming along
Seeking adventures from coast to coast
With Salty the beautiful mermaid beside you
The mermaid that loves you the most
By: T.J. Christoff ©
My Patchwork Heart: Vol. 2
Image:
Precious Memories...
Ollie, Ollie, in come free
Tag you're it
Home base, I'm free
Move your feet
Lose your seat
No tap backs
And other wise cracks
A whistle from Dad
Was what we heard
Saying, "Get your butts home!"
Without so much as a word
The days of being
A kid are gone
Yet precious memories
Still linger on
By: T.J. Christoff ©
My Patchwork Heart: Vol. 2
Image:
Painful Thoughts...
Crazy ideas
Fill my head
Times when I wished
That I was dead
Painful thoughts
From memories
An emotional cross
To crucify me
It feels so real
Like a stake through my heart
From this earth
I've longed to depart
But I must stay
I know not why
To live life lonely
Until I die
Abandoned by lovers
I thought would stay
Left alone in the world
To find my way
An aching soul
Within this flesh
All I want now
Is to take my rest
By: T.J. Christoff ©
My Patchwork Heart: Vol. 2
Image:
Revisiting the Past - My Patchwork Heart: Vol. 2 (2010-2014)
Search My Soul...
Break my heart
Wear me down
I'm tired of hiding
Behind the guise of a clown
Let me cry
Allow me to fear
Until it's You
I always draw near
Let me feel loneliness
Allow me to doubt
Until it's Your name
The world hears me shout
Let me know pain
Like never before
Until it is You
I seek to adore
Search my soul God
Mend my heart
Bless my life
With a brand new start
By: T.J. Christoff ©
My Patchwork Heart: Vol. 2
Image:
Among this Human Race...
I wonder what you'd see
If you took a look inside
Would you notice what I don't talk about
The things I try to hide
Would you see the broken pieces
Of a lost and troubled soul
Would you walk away and realize
I'm someone you don't know
Would you see the scars and bruises
From pain of distant past
Would you notice the pain and aching felt
From love that didn't last
Would you feel a sense of sadness
Wondering how you never knew
Somehow feeling guilty
Like my salvation was up to you
Well let me reassure you
I really am okay
It's just that on occasion
I tend to feel this way
Sad and beaten down
Dejected and alone
I find myself longing
For God to call me home
But then I look around
And take another breath
Realizing once again
How truly I am blessed
I pick myself back up
Put a smile on my face
I find my place once again
Among this human race
By: T.J. Christoff ©
My Patchwork Heart: Vol. 2
Image:
This Life's Walk...
You try your best
To put me in a box
Close down the lid
Lock tight all the locks
Despite your efforts
Someday you will see
Your box is too big
And yet too small for me
Your box is too small
For I am grand
I can't be contained
By mere mortal man
Your box is too large
For I do not exist
As you perceive me to be
When your eyes give a twist
I'm of the Divine
The Creator of all
I'm no Humpty Dumpty
Sitting idly by on a wall
I'm not likely the person
You think me to be
There's depth and stillness
Contemplation and glee
You think that you know me
But how deep did you go
Did you stop at the surface
Or have you searched for my soul
Before you place me
In a box to conform
Listen close to my prompting
Take heed as I warn
Life is a journey
With many dreams to fulfill
So don't be afraid
To let go of the wheel
We all have our differences
Struggles and such
Gifts that are given
For the lives that we touch
So don't hold me down
Or try to confine me to a box
Take hold of my hand
Join me on this life's walk
By: T.J. Christoff ©
My Patchwork Heart: Vol. 2
Image:
Life's Wanderer...
I'm a wanderer in life
Forging my path
Shining my light
I seek nothing back
I travel the roads
Where few choose to go
Learning and loving
At times letting go
I trust the Divine
To light my way
Filling me with peace
Each and every day
My journey has taught me
To give always my best
Hold onto the blessings
Forgo all the rest
To all of life's wanderers
Until next we meet
May you always find joy
On life's weary street
By: T.J. Christoff ©
My Patchwork Heart: Vol. 2
Image:
Ready to Exit Stage Left...
I ache to check out
Of this world that I live in
And return to the place
Where I know all's forgiven
I've had enough
Of a life formed from dust
Where deception and coldness
Steals all of my trust
My life feels empty
All joy seems gone
I don't know how
I am to carry on
I fight every day
Just to take my next breath
Surrounded by gray skies
Life vultures feeding on death
I cry all alone
So you can't possibly see
The sorrow that fills
The cavernous depths of me
What is the purpose
Of a life such as this
When most of my days
Are filled with pain and distress
I'm ready to leave
Ready to exit stage left
Leaving behind all the losses
Of which have left me bereft
By: T.J. Christoff ©
My Patchwork Heart: Vol. 2
Image:
My K-9 Co-Pilot...
You wriggle and wiggle
You twist all around
With a smile on your face
You make your cute puppy-dog sounds
You wag your tail
Lift my hand with your head
Sometimes you're more content
Rubbing your body against my bed
As I say those words
You long to hear
"Let's go bye-bye"
You perk up your ears
It's a race to the door
Like a horse out of a gate
For once the words are spoken
There's no time to wait
It never seems to matter
Where our travels may lead
Life is always better
When my K-9 co-pilot's with me
By: T.J. Christoff ©
My Patchwork Heart: Vol. 2
Image:
"Mom's Gone"...
"Mom's gone"
Were the words that I heard
That broke my heart
And severed a nerve
I was too late
To say good-bye
I hung up the phone
And began to cry
In an instant my life
Became dark and bleak
So much to say
Yet I could not speak
How could this happen
What was the cause
What was the lesson
To take away from such loss
Your suffering had ended
As mine would begin
Holding onto my faith
I know I'll see you again
I miss you mommy
More and more every day
Life just hasn't been the same
Since you went away
By: T.J. Christoff ©
My Patchwork Heart: Vol. 2
Image:
Frozen in Motion...
The hands of time
Twisting
Turning
Calling us late
Past and future
Never really exist
Leaving nothing to dwell on
Nor to make a wish
An instant then gone
Like a flash of lght
Frozen in motion
An unforgiving plight
Hopes and dreams
Come and go
With passing of time
We never truly know
The birth of memories
From moments past
Without time in the future
Yet still these memories last
By: T.J. Christoff ©
My Patchwork Heart: Vol. 2
Image:
I Feel Like a Pawn...
I feel like a pawn
In this game of life
Most every move I make
Foreshadowed by strife
I feel like a pawn
Never getting very far
Lacking in beauty
What I touch I mar
I feel like a pawn
Unloved and a mess
A misgiven soul
Possessing this flesh
I feel like a pawn
In a game meant to lose
It makes no difference
The roads that I choose
I feel like a pawn
In a game that won't end
Keeping me from home
Where I long to ascend
By: T.J. Christoff ©
My Patchwork Heart: Vol. 2
Image:
A Journey of Roads..
I watch the lights change
Green, yellow then red
Warning "Be careful!"
Stop up ahead
As I think of my life
The warnings were there
Proceed with caution, stop!
Carry on without care
Signals to help me
To guide safely along
Reminding me always
To choose right over wrong
I've made some mistakes
All along my way
I've stopped when I should have went
Went when I should have stayed
Each mistake brought with it
A lesson to learn
Look left, right, left
Before making a turn
This suit of flesh
My soul doeth wear
To accomplish many tasks
As it tarries here
A journey of roads
Paved, tattered and worn
Each in its own way
Leading me home
By: T.J. Christoff ©
My Patchwork Heart: Vol. 2
Image:
Disillusioned...
Disillusioned...
By time
By distance
By words unspoken
Disillusioned...
By deeds
By actions
By shattered dreams
Disillusioned...
By thoughts
By feelings
By missed opportunities
Disillusioned...
By expectations
By complications
By self-imposed limitations
By: T.J. Christoff ©
My Patchwork Heart: Vol. 2
Image:
Thank God for Dogs...
A soggy nose
Upon my hand
A nudge to throw
The ball again
A wagging tail
To say, "Hello!"
A whine that says
"I want to go"
Muffled barks
Beneath your breath
Chasing bunnies
While at your rest
Co-pilot seated
In passenger chair
Tongue hangs loosely
In highway air
Guarding the castle
While your human's away
Passing the time
In your own little way
Finally it's time
To play again
Thank God for dogs
Human's best friends
By: T.J. Christoff ©
My Patchwork Heart: Vol. 2
Image:
Personal collection
Clickity-Clack...
Clickity-clack
Clickity-clack
I hear a growing rumble
Of a train upon a track
Off in the distane
Whatever could it be
There's black smoke rising
Lonesome whistle calling me
Clickity-clack
Clickity-clack
The closer it draws near
The furhter I'm carried back
To a time of simple pleasures
When life was more carefree
Each time I hear that whistle blow
It's childhood memories that I see
By: T.J. Christoff ©
My Patchwork Heart: Vol. 2
Image:
For All the Love You Gave...
There was so much I didn't know about you...
The things that made you truly happy
The things that brought you pain
The silent things that scared you
Your many unspoken dreams
I didn't know how you were raised
All the things you liked to do
Where you would have liked to live
If it only had been left up to you
I didn't know your favorite color
Which flower you liked most
There was so much I just didn't know
We simply never were that close
But there were some things about you
Strengths you couldn't hide
Things that were so obvious
You didn't have to confide
The selfless nature of your heart
How much you liked to live
The kindness that you showed to others
Every time you chose to give
The love you showed your family
With every sacrifice you made
Thank you mom for all you did
For all the love you gave
By: T.J. Christoff ©
My Patchwork Heart: Vol. 2
Image:
You Forgot Your Orange...
You forgot your orange
It made me sad
I felt certain that for lunch
That was all you had
I picked it up
It had fallen to the floor
It must have happened
As you walked out the door
I looked at that orange
With downcast eyes
The emotions I felt
Would cause me surprise
I wanted to help
To bring it to you
I didn't know where you worked
There was nothing I could do
For years I've thought
Of that orange that I found
The sadness I felt
As it lay on the ground
Yet never did I speak
A word of it to you
We were never close enough
To share emotional issues
Now you are gone
To a place of great bliss
When I think of that orange
It is you that I miss
By: T.J. Christoff ©
My Patchwork Heart: Vol. 2
Image:
Please be Patient...
I make mistakes
I get things wrong
But my intentions are pure
My commitment is strong
I strive to learn
From my mistakes
I'll do whatever I can
Whatever it takes
Please be patient
As I learn and grow
I want to be someone
You're honored to know
By: T.J. Christoff ©
My Patchwork Heart: Vol. 2
Image:
A Man of Honor...
Always strong
Often misunderstood
My father
A man of honor
Gentle yet stern
Lessons to teach and to learn
Growing older now
He's changed somehow
Still not frail
He's aging well
Have I taken in everything I possibly can
From this decent yet sometimes stubborn man
My father
A man of honor
By: T.J. Christoff ©
My Patchwork Heart: Vol. 2
Image:
Personal collection
The Hand of an Angel...
The hand of an angel
Upon my chest
I felt aft I'd gone
To take my rest
Unable to sleep
Through tears I'd cry
This pain will end
Once I die
My first attempt
Then two, then three
I could not rise
What was wrong with me
The hand on my chest
As once before
Held me down
One time more
To get up I could not
Though try as I might
I'd cry myself
To sleep that night
Not knowing what
Would become of me
How someday Spirit
Would set me free
Free to live
My life refreshed
To find true love
I am so blessed
By: T.J. Christoff ©
My Patchwork Heart: Vol. 2
Image:
That Tree...
There is a tree
Standing there
Amidst the elements
Without care
For all who seek
Who search for truth
Buried deep
Within her roots
Poised by wisdom
Born from age
The tree of knowledge
We engage
Each passing day
Adorning views
From Mother Earth's
Loving hues
We gaze in awe
Mouths agape
Her timeless beauty
We cannot escape
Someow transfixed
Upon that tree
We stand amazed
She sets us free
By: T.J. Christoff ©
My Patchwork Heart: Vol. 2
Image:
My Life's Journey...
Living my life
Each and every day
Sometimes I struggle
To find my way
The journey I travel
Is mine alone
Which road shall I take
Which will lead me home
The faces I see
Along my path
Each tells a story
Their life's aftermath
We nod and bid
A kind adieu
To our hearts we are hopeful
Always to remain true
The things I've experienced
My story to tell
I hope someday
To do it well
To make the difference
I was sent to make
So my life's journey
Won't have been a mistake
By: T.J. Christoff ©
My Patchwork Heart: Vol. 2
Image:
When Angels Cry...
When a child goes hungry
Body broken and bruised
That's when Angels cry
When the elderly person
Becomes of no use
That's when Angels cry
When the dog is tortured
As if to amuse
That's when Angels cry
When war and famine
Become old news
That's when Angels cry
When incestuous deeds
Go unnoticed
That's when Angels cry
When the suffering of others
Become their truth
That's when Angels cry
By: T.J. Christoff ©
My Patchwork Heart: Vol. 2
Image:
I'm Grateful for You...
I'm grateful for you
For who you are
The light in your eyes
The joy in your heart
I'm grateful for you
For being so brave
Though you could have left
You chose to stay
I'm grateful for you
The compassion you show
The love you share
Wherever you go
I'm grateful for you
Your kind gentle words
Your passion for life
Is changing this world
By: T.J. Christoff ©
My Patchwork Heart: Vol. 2
Image:
You Took Your Final Bow...
We saw only what you'd show
Yet we really didn't know
The silent pain that filled your heart
The pain you couldn't let go
You hid behind a smile
You hid behind a laugh
Yet the sadness you kept deep inside
Served to cut your life in half
Your life on earth was short
Though your legacy will live
Always bringing joy to others
Was your lot in life to give
You took your final bow
As you entered Heaven's door
Now amusing the Almighty
In claps of thunder, we'll hear His laughter roar!
By: T.J. Christoff ©
My Patchwork Heart: Vol. 2
Image:
Revisiting the Past - My Patchwork Heart: Vol. 3 (2014-2018)
I Am No More...
No longer on
The ocean floor
That speck of sand
I am no more
That grain of sand
Beneath the sea
The one you stood upon
'twas me
I'm free to live
A life so grand
Above the sea
Upon the land
I'll travel hither
To and fro
Upon the wind
I shall go
Where ought my dreams
Should carry me
Amidst a breeze
I shall be free
By: T.J. Christoff ©
My Patchwork Heart: Vol. 3
Image:
Tell Me Something Good...
Tell me something good
I'm only asking for one thing not two
It's certain to get easier
Every time you do
Tell me something good
A story, riddle or ryhme
Soon you'll find yourself focused
On the good most all the time
Tell me something good
Something that makes you smile
Tell me of your happy thoughts
Come sit with me awhile
The good is all around you
Just look and you will see
If you look real closely
You might find there's good in me
Tell me someting good
I'm only asking for one thing not two
Take a good look within yourself
Because I'm certain there's good in you
By: T.J. Christoff ©
My Patchwork Heart: Vol. 3
Image:
Help Set My Spirit Free...
If you hit me with your car
Or run me over with your truck
Please don't leave me laying there
Like I'm just a piece of junk
Place me in a hole
Beneath a nice shade tree
Won't you take an extra moment now
And set my spirit free
I may not have been human
But I did have feelings too
If the shoe were on the other foot
I'd want respect for you
I died from broken body
A most painful death you see
Please do this one last kindness
Help set my spirit free
By: T.J. Christoff ©
My Patchwork Heart: Vol. 3
Image:
I Meant No Harm...
I meant no harm
When I walked your way
On that my last
Warm sunny day
I looked at you
With gentle eyes
But your intent
Was to terrorize
You picked me up
Then tied me down
Slammed my body
Onto the ground
You kicked and hit
And tortured me
Squeezed my neck
'til I could not breathe
What did I do
To deserve this fate
To stir in you
Such intense hate
I came to love
To comfort too
To show unwavering
Love for you
You took my life
I know not why
At your hands
I had to die
I trusted you
To care for me
And in return
There I'd always be
At Rainbow Bridge
Now I run and play
On this a new
Safe warm sunny day
By: T.J. Christoff ©
My Patchwork Heart: Vol. 3
Image:
I Called Your Name...
I called your name
In the middle of the night
To ease my pain
To calm my fright
I called your name
To see me through
I sought to catch
A glimpse of you
I closed my eyes
As tears I cried
I longed to feel you
By my side
A loving hug
To reassure
Reminding me
I can endure
A simple touch
To know you’re there
To be reminded
That you care
I know you think
That I am strong
It’s true I am
You are not wrong
But even I
Get lonely too
And there are times
When I need you
By: T.J. Christoff ©
My Patchwork Heart: Vol. 3
Image:
Dream Scape...
Sleeping sound
Sweet dreams abound
My soul is lost at play
Exploring worlds
'til dreamt unfound
Nor seen at light of day
No thought of time
I turn to find
The dust of fairies fall
Next I see
The fairies flee
Through a tiny magic wall
A sound of music
Calls to me
A familiar sound I hear
I climb atop
An angel's wings
That suddenly appears
Carried safely
On angel wings
I rest without a fear
As slowly my eyes
Open wide
I awake as dawn draws near
By: T.J. Christoff ©
My Patchwork Heart: Vol. 3
Image:
Invisible Scars...
Invisible scars
The result of abuse
Bind me tight
Like a hangman's noose
They cover my heart
In dark despair
A constant reminder
Life's not always fair
Depression and sadness
I try to fight
Upon my rising
From a sleepless night
What is the purpose
In living life
So overshadowed
By pain and strife
What are the lessons
What knowledge bared
To grow up in a world
Where it seems few cared
I toil and tarry
Each day that I live
Knowing those who have hurt me
I must forgive
By: T.J. Christoff ©
My Patchwork Heart: Vol. 3
Image:
The Bitter Cold...
The bitter cold
Creeps silently through my bones
Burning my body
With its numbing chill
In the dark of night
I sit alone
Paralyzed by fear
Of the unknown
What evil lurks in the darkness
Waiting to feast upon my demise
I'm too cold to run
Too cold to rise
I wonder how I came to be
All alone in this dreary place
I exist without a name
I exist without a face
I'm growing weary
My time is near
Soon I will no longer
Have need to fear
By: T.J. Christoff ©
My Patchwork Heart: Vol. 3
Image:
Here's My Story...
Broken and bruised
Once upon a time
Here's my story
Wrapped up in a rhyme
I came into life
Early to see
What this big world
Had in store for me
There was sorrow and hardships
Broken hearts quite a few
Tragedy and death
But I had love too
Education and jobs
Friends old and new
Days when I felt
Lost and confused
Pain that I thought
I could never forget
Yet learning somehow
That I had to forgive
Life's what you make it
I've learned this too
With each day the sun rises
I start life anew
By: T.J. Christoff ©
My Patchwork Heart: Vol. 3
Image:
You've Broken the Chains...
Now finally free
From the darkness I'm finding
You've broken the chains
Cut loose all the bindings
You've made straight my path
Lightened my way
Given reason to trust
To be grateful each day
The past is behind me
As new life begins
Letting go of the losses
Holding onto the wins
The choices I'd made
Some good and some bad
A faint glowing reflection
Of the life that I had
Lessons I've learned
To share and to grow
As on with my journey
I continue to go
Many miracles await me
Showing You care
Little constant reminders
That You're always near
By: T.J. Christoff ©
My Patchwork Heart: Vol. 3
Image:
Box-top Finished Picture...
My eyes were open
Still I couldn't see
Through the longing and loss
All You had waiting for me
I couldn't know then
What I know today
Miracles and blessings
Just don't happen that way
It took faith and patience
And trusting You
Something I admit
I didn't always do
Each piece of the puzzle
Has a purpose and a place
A specific reason
In infinite time and infinite space
This puzzle of life
Each piece a unique fit
The box top finished picture
To see it, a gift
By: T.J. Christoff ©
My Patchwork Heart: Vol. 3
Image:
Stored Safe in a Box...
Raisinets and Goobers
Pop Rocks and such
Chewing gum cigarettes
I loved them so much
Sunny summer days
Playing down by the creek
Lost in imagination
Every day seemed a week
Fishing for minnows
Using cheeseballs and dough
Thankful for sunshine
Each day wanting more
The occasional found treasure
Stored safe in a box
Skimming the river
With smooth flattened rocks
A fort in a tree
Or built in the sand
I was an explorer
Traversing new land
Those days all were treasures
They're not hard to find
I keep them locked safely
Storied in a box in my mind
By: T.J. Christoff ©
My Patchwork Heart: Vol. 3
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A Grand Adventure...
Night is falling
Soon dawn will rise
As you yawn and stretch
Washing the sleep from your eyes
Grabbing some coffee
A slice of toast or two
You start your day
With so much to do
It's a grand adventure
You've set out on
Leaving family and friends
A familiar home
Experiencing new cultures
With heart open wide
You gladly welcome the changes
Taking place deep inside
By: T.J. Christoff ©
My Patchwork Heart: Vol. 3
Image:
Every Life Has A Soul...
It hurts my heart
The things I see
Day after day
Surrounding me
Abandoned dogs
Left to survive on their own
Lonely and abused children
So many people without homes
Violence that took
Someone's life senselessly
While an innocent soul on death row
Remains there on technicality
Race wars and spiritual wars
Uprisings in streets
Never bring about winnings
Rest assured only defeats
We must choose to unite
For each life has a soul
A spirit that matters
A journey, a goal
By: T.J. Christoff ©
My Patchwork Heart: Vol. 3
Image:
Holding Each Moment...
I sit with back
Propped against the wall
Deep in thought
As I try to recall
That one short season
Which has long since passed
At the time must have seemed
'twould forever last
A wee little child
Perhaps three or four
Playing with pots and pans
On mom's waxed floor
Without a care
Of what life would bring
The scent of a flower
Other seemingly little things
Holding each moment
In my tiny hands
Without clue or understanding
Of mere mortal man
A carefree existence
No plans to be made
The path of my journey
Had already been paved
A lifetime ago
How quickly time's passed
My life as a child
'twas not meant to last
Seeing life now
Through eyes that have aged
I choose each day
With life to engage
Making the time
To watch butterflies flit
Feeling the warmth of the sun fade
Each night as it sets
By: T.J. Christoff ©
My Patchwork Heart: Vol. 3
Image:
An Empty Seat...
It's Christmas season
Once again
A special time to remember
Family and friends
The tree's all a glow
Ornaments hung just right
All the children are playing
Their laughter brings much delight
The stockings are hung
Presents wrapped with great care
The fragrance of baked cookies
Wafts through the air
Through the sights and the laughter
We can't help but adore
We hold a place in our hearts
For those here no more
An empty seat at the table
During the Christmas Day meal
The longing it brings
We can't help but feel
So we say a prayer
To our memories hold tight
And give thanks to God
For those still here tonight
By: T.J. Christoff ©
My Patchwork Heart: Vol. 3
Image:
His Mighty Hands...
His mighty hands
Lead the way
Pointing out my path
So I don't stray
His mighty hands
Lift me up
When the daily grind
Seems a bit too much
His mighty hands
Hold me close
When I'm missing those
I love the most
His mighty hands
Protect and shield
His loving comfort
Seems to never yield
May His mighty hands
Hold me tight
Bringing peaceful dreams
As I sleep tonight
By: T.J. Christoff ©
My Patchwork Heart: Vol. 3
Image:
I See Beauty...
I see beauty in the shadows
The leaves of trees cast
I see beauty in rainbows
And other things that don't last
I see beauty in sunsets
Of red, orange and gold
I see beauty in the wisdom
Of a mind that's grown old
I see beauty in a puppy
That sleeps any which way
I see beauty in children
Who fight the tire of play
I see beauty when Mother Nature
Tosses winter blankets around
I see beauty in springtime
As life springs up all around
I see beauty in the people
With disabilities
I see beauty in them knowing
They're the one's who truly see
I see beauty in the stars
Scattered across the Universe
I see beauty in them all
Wondering which one was placed first
I see beauty as I watch
Fish exploring their tank
For all this beauty and much more
It's God that I thank!
By: T.J. Christoff ©
My Patchwork Heart: Vol. 3
Image:
Beautiful Dream Weaver...
Beautiful Dream Weaver
Weave me a dream
Make the colors bright and vibrant
As you weave together each scene
Cast your spell upon me
Sprinkle fairy dust on my head
May God's Angels stand watch around me
That I might sleep minus fear or dread
Beautiful Dream Weaver
Please fill my dreams
With love, light and laughter
With wondrous and magical things
In the morning when I wake
When it's time for me to rise
May the memories of the dreams you wove
Continue to dance in my mind
By: T.J. Christoff ©
My Patchwork Heart: Vol. 3
Image:
Our Souls are Connected...
I say I'm okay
But really I'm not
Anticipating a loss
Holds my most every thought
Making each moment
As special as I can
I hold you close
Your paw in my hand
A tiny pup
All those years ago
All the love you would show me
I couldn't possibly know
I look in your eyes
So bright and so clear
Even now they remind me
There's nothing to fear
Our souls are connected
Have always been and will always be
Not even death
Can end the love between you and me
By: T.J. Christoff ©
My Patchwork Heart: Vol. 3
Image:
We Are Awakening...
We spend each day
Living, learning, loving
We are growing
We let go of ego
Embrace awareness
We are evolving
We move beyond the past
Living each moment, NOW!
We are maturing
We see more clearly
Forgiving and moving on
We are becoming wise
We love with hearts wide open
Allowing life to unfold naturally
We are awakening
By: T.J. Christoff ©
My Patchwork Heart: Vol. 3
Image:
Every Breath New Life...
Give me wings
So I can fly
Hither and fro
Across the sky
A gentle breeze
To keep me aloft
My occasional landing
Safe and soft
Wondrous sights
Draw me near
Fill me with love
No time for fear
Each day a gift
As mysteries unfold
Every breath new life
A story waiting to be told
By: T.J. Christoff ©
My Patchwork Heart: Vol. 3
Image:
Like a Scared Little Turtle...
My heart is breaking
All over again
First pain then numbness
Will it ever end
The mental tapes
Spin reel-to-reel
They play non-stop
Telling me how to feel
Your silence cuts me
Like a sharp butchers knife
Leaving me to question
My purpose in life
I'll bury my feelings
Deep inside
Like a scared little turtle
Within my shell I'll hide
No longer will I give you
Access to my heart
I should have known better
From the very start
By: T.J. Christoff ©
My Patchwork Heart: Vol. 3
Image:
Liquid Bullets...
The sky is turning gray
Storm clouds rolling in
Flashes of lightening overhead
Off in the distance
A growing roar of thunder
Like an ocean wave breaking against the shore
Countless people rush by
Oblivious to one another
Each in their own little world
I stand alone
Beneath a firing squad
A firing squad of liquid bullets
I feel the sting on my body
At first one, then two
Suddenly I can no longer discern one from the next
The sky has opened up
The holes from the liquid bullets
Release all I hold inside
By: T.J. Christoff ©
My Patchwork Heart: Vol. 3
Image:
You Lift Me Up...
The wind is blowing
Howling through the trees
By candle light
I hit my knees
With hands raised up
Head held low
I speak in whispers
Words You already know
Giving thanks for this day
For family and friends
The gratitude I feel
It never ends
You lift me up
Each and every day
Blessing me with courage
To find my way
To stay the fight
When life gets tough
I'm cradled safely
Within Your love
By: T.J. Christoff ©
My Patchwork Heart: Vol. 3
Image:
Time is an Illusion...
Time is an illusion
It neither comes nor goes
There is no past or future
Now is all time knows
Time is an illusion
It doesn't stop or start
It is and always was
Like the endless beating of a heart
Time is an illusion
It's something we create
A flaw in our design no doubt
Is our constant hurry up and wait
Time is an illusion
It only exists within our mind
If we step outside our conscious thought
No time there will we find
By: T.J. Christoff ©
My Patchwork Heart: Vol. 3
Image:
If You Really Knew Me...
If you really knew me
You'd know how hard I try
To hide the pain I feel inside
My fight to stay alive
If you really knew me
You'd know the hidden fear
That comes with opening myself up
From letting you draw near
If you really knew me
You'd know the tears I've shed
The memories that haunt me
They live inside my head
If you really knew me
You'd know I'm not so strong
You'd see the battles that I fight
Each day just to hang on
If you really knew me
You'd feel it in my touch
The endless ache for love I feel
How I've longed for it so much
By: T.J. Christoff ©
My Patchwork Heart: Vol. 3
Image:
How Will I Know...
How will I know
When the right one's come along
Will You speak it in a whisper
Of the morning bird's song
How will I know
The one that's meant to be
Will You leave a message in the dew
On a rose pedal for me
How will I know
When it's time to trust again
Will You tell me in a touch
The first time we hold hands
How will I know
If friendship's turned to love
Will You write it on my heart
Will I feel it in a hug
I know somehow I'll know
In time I'm sure I'll see
I trust the answer lies in You
And in time You'll share it with me
By: T.J. Christoff ©
My Patchwork Heart: Vol. 3
Image:
You Can't Chain a Butterfly...
You can't chain a butterfly
Nor should you even try
The joy's in watching her flutter about
Dancing with the sky
You can't chain a butterfly
Her beauty 's within her wings
Color's bright and vibrant
Aloft the wind she softly sings
You can't chain a butterfly
Nor hold her in a snare
Lest to your surprise you'll wake to find
Someday she's no longer there
You can't chain a butterfly
She has to know she's free
To travel where the soft winds blow
To alight upon a breeze
By: T.J. Christoff ©
My Patchwork Heart: Vol. 3
Image:
Forgiveness...
Forgiveness starts
With letting go
Allowing deep
Vulnerabilities to show
Forgiveness breaks
The chains that bind
That hold pain captive
In space and time
Forgiveness releases
Doubt and fear
Allowing others
To once again draw near
Forgiveness helps
The heart to mend
Forgiveness makes room
For love again
By: T.J. Christoff ©
My Patchwork Heart: Vol. 3
Image:
This Is Who I Am...
This is who I am
Look closely if you want to see
All the many facets
Brought together to make me
When looking at the surface
You might see a smile wide
But it doesn't tell the story
Behind all that's deep inside
The trials and all the hardships
Battles lost along the way
Courage and strength from Spirit
It's what keeps me going each day
Add to that a kind hello
From a stranger on the street
Unique connection with someone
I'd no idea I'd ever meet
The bark of a friendly dog
Watching a squirrel play in a tree
Staring at the clear blue skies
As far as the eyes can see
Engaged in a favorite hobby
Spending time with family and friends
This is just some of what brings me joy
Part of what makes me who I am
By: T.J. Christoff ©
My Patchwork Heart: Vol. 3
Image:
I Take Refuge...
The wind is blowing
It's cold outside
Under my covers
I retreat to hide
From howling wind
Snow mixed with sleet
I take refuge
'neath warm flannel sheet
A candle glowing
Beside my bed
Soft feather pillow
Beneath my head
Counting my blessings
I drift off to sleep
Thankful for the warm
Fuzzy socks on my feet
By: T.J. Christoff ©
My Patchwork Heart: Vol. 3
Image:
That's How Life Changes...
In the blink of an eye
That's how life changes
What once was
Suddenly rearranges
The way life was
It is no more
When one door closes
It's said He opens one more
Life goes on
Days come and go
We live and learn
Struggle and grow
Our hearts get broken
Then slowly mends
If only to be broken
Someday once again
The pain of loss
Whether big or small
At some point touches
One and all
Life goes on
For those left behind
The mystery to it all
Perhaps on this earth not ours to find
By: T.J. Christoff ©
My Patchwork Heart: Vol. 3
Image:
Be Inspired...
Be inspired
By what you see
A turtle crossing a street
Shade cast by a tree
Be inspired
By a song you hear
A fawn you see nursing
On sweet mother deer
Be inspired
Watching children play
Never seeming to tire
Though playing all day
Be inspired
Reading a book
They're all around
If you care to look
Be inspired
As evening sun sets
Be inspired each day
Before taking your rest
By: T.J. Christoff ©
My Patchwork Heart: Vol. 3
Image:
Come All Ye..
Come all ye
With spirits downtrodden
All ye which feel
Lost and forgotten
Come all ye
With true love to give
With heartfelt compassion
Your life's meant to live
Come all ye people
Those cast to the side
Such tremendous obstacles
You fought and survived
Come all ye people
With hearts tired and sore
Still believing there's so much
To love and adore
Come all ye animals
Broken and bruised
By those that you trusted
You took your abuse
Come all ye animals
Hungry and alone
A safe place is waiting
For you to call home
Come all ye beings
Whether human or not
You were created for a reason
Lest ye forgot
Come all ye beings
Your light shining bright
Remember your purpose
Don't give up the fight
By: T.J. Christoff ©
My Patchwork Heart: Vol. 3
Image:
I Stopped...
I stopped to make a turn
When I saw a person standing there
All I had to offer him
Was bottled water and a prayer
I stopped to pick a flower
When it suddenly occurred to me
Its beauty would soon be lost
If not left for all to see
I stopped to make a phone call
Just to say hello
Only to be reminded
You left this earth long time ago
I stopped to watch a sunset
As I sat atop a bale of hay
The mingling of colors red, orange and blue
Erased my worries of the day
I stopped just one last time
Before calling it a night
To thank You for my life
Trusting all will turn out right
I'll stop first thing again tomorrow
As I do each and every day
To thank You once again
As I ask You to guide my way
By: T.J. Christoff ©
My Patchwork Heart: Vol. 3
Image:
Just One Simple Thought...
Just one simple thought
Can alter the way
You look at your life
Each and every day
Just one simple thought
Can bring about change
To a life you once thought
You could not rearrange
Just one simple thought
Though hard to believe it's true
There's purpose for your life
Things you were sent here to do
Just one simple thought
To believe is your choice
Your life is your song
So lift up your voice
By: T.J. Christoff ©
My Patchwork Heart: Vol. 3
Image:
Let It Go...
Let it go
That weight you bear
A heavy heart
You're not meant to wear
Let it go
That worry you hide
There's only so much
You can hold inside
Let it go
That negative self-talk
Remember your faith
Now walk the walk
Let it go
That which you fear
Feel the love that is God
Holding you near
Let it go
The resistance, the fight
Open your heart
Let in the light
Let it go
All the heartache you're feeling
Time on earth is so short
Allow yourself time for healing
By: T.J. Christoff ©
My Patchwork Heart: Vol. 3
Image:
I'm Giving up the Ghosts...
I'm giving up the ghosts
The hauntings from my past
The pains from lessons learned
Were never meant to last
I'm giving up the ghosts
That have held me down so long
The chains of bondage cut
It's time my life goes on
I'm giving up the ghosts
It's time to set them free
There's no room in my life anymore
This I've finally come to see
I'm giving up the ghosts
Though I'm sure they'll seek me out
At times rearing their ugly heads
In negativity and doubt
I'm giving up the ghosts
I'll take it one day at a time
I only have one life to live
It's time to make this one mine
By: T.J. Christoff ©
My Patchwork Heart: Vol. 3
Image:
Have I...
Have I made a difference
During my time here on earth
Have I learned from the lessons
What I set out to at birth
Have I touched unknowingly
The hearts of others
Mothers, fathers
Sons and daughters
Have I shown kindness to animals
To all God has created
Have I chosen to act
When others have waited
Have I lived with integrity
Has my word remained true
Have you seen love in my eyes
As I looked upon you
Have I accepted responsibility
For mistakes that I've made
Have I asked for forgiveness
Without too much delay
Have I loved from my heart
Like I knew I should
Have I inflicted less sorrow
Then I have sewn good
Have I watched in amazement
A shooting star in the sky
Did I speak truth more often
Then I ever did a lie
Have I touched with gentleness
Has my smile been bright
Have I given my best
Have I fought a good fight
Have I given to others
Everything I could give
Have I honored completely
This life that I live
By: T.J. Christoff ©
My Patchwork Heart: Vol. 3
Image:
The Outcast...
The outcast sits
On the sidelines alone
Feeling empty
Feeling unknown
The outcast waits
With hope in heart fading
Tiring from longing
Tiring from waiting
The outcast feels deeply
Pain and despair
Yet so often will act
As if they simply don't care
The outcast will tell you
"It just doesn't matter"
"It's just as it should be"
They'll hide their sadness with laughter
The outcast is stronger
Then one might imagine
They exist in a world
Most cannot fathom
The outcast is someone
If only you knew
The love and compassion
They long to offer you
By: T.J. Christoff ©
My Patchwork Heart: Vol. 3
Image:
Revisiting the Past - My Patchwork Heart: Vol. 4 (2016-2020)
My Own Drum...
Tick tock
Tick tock
I watch time pass
By the hands of a clock
Pitter patter
Pitter pat
The days fly by so fast
Life's funny like that
Hidey ho
Hidey hum
I march to the beat
Of my own drum
By: T.J. Christoff ©
My Patchwork Heart: Vol. 4
Image:
When You Feel Deeply...
When you feel deeply
It's the little things that move you
People will say you're moody
But they don't know your depth
When you feel deeply
It's automatic
There are no "Off" switches to your emotions
You see the profound in the minute
When you feel deeply
You will listen to the same song repeatedly
The lyrics will move you to tears
They inspire you too
When you feel deeply
The smallest things will touch your heart
Tugging at your soul
Like the pounding of a roller coaster
When you feel deeply
You hide sadness in humor
When you feel deeply
You often are misunderstood
By: T.J. Christoff ©
My Patchwork Heart: Vol. 4
Image:
I'm a Scurvy Elephant...
Are you a scurvy elephant
Do you think outside the box
Do you speak what's in your heart
Without giving a second thought
Are you a scurvy elephant
Do you color outside the lines
Do you question authority when necessary
Do you speak what's on your mind
Are you a scurvy elephant
Do you voice knowledge of wrong from right
Staying true to your spirit
That's your weapon when you must fight
From the scurvy elephant
There's so much to be learned
I'm a scurvy elephant
Although not a pachyderm!
By: T.J. Christoff ©
In Honor of: Dr. Wayne Dyer
My Patchwork Heart: Vol. 4
Image:
With O2 Flowing...
I'll don my mask
With O2 flowing
When life gets tough
Yet I must keep going
I'll rise with the birds
As dawn comes calling
After a long hard day
Into bed I'll go falling
Dreams start to come
As lids close fast
Not a thought for the future
Nor mourning of past
With covers pulled tightly
Snug 'neath my chin
Head light on pillow
O2 mask in hand
When life gets tough
Know it's not the end
Put your mask on fast
Let the O2 flow in
By: T.J. Christoff ©
My Patchwork Heart: Vol. 4
Image:
Life by It's Virtue...
Life by its virtue
Is a cautionary tale
Never stop believing
Vow to live life well
Show kindness to others
Be gentle yet bold
May the light in your heart
Nurture both young and old
Take time out
Each and every day
Cherish what matters
Give hugs and smiles away
Notice a breeze
As it kisses your face
Take a break from the battle
That is this human race
At the end of every day
Before taking your rest
Reflect for a moment
Did you give life your best
Give thanks for everything
All the joy and the pain
Nothing good comes at harvest
Without enduring the rain
By: T.J. Christoff ©
My Patchwork Heart: Vol. 4
Image:
A Four-Letter Word...
It's a four-letter word
That will change this world
For better or worse
It's a choice not a curse
It's a four-letter word
Will you love will you hate
Which will you choose
What will be your fate
It's a four-letter word
It can build up or tear down
It can strengthen families
It can destroy towns
It's a four-letter word
Your actions reveal
To love or to hate
The result you can feel
To love or to hate
What will it be
When others look in your eyes
What will they see
When it comes to hate
It's just not for me
My heart's filled with love
For all humanity
By: T.J. Christoff ©
My Patchwork Heart: Vol. 4
Image:
https://stock.adobe.com/search?k=%22love+hate+relationship%22
If a K-9 had a Bucket List...
If a K-9 had a bucket list
I wonder what on it there'd be
Perhaps to romp in a field so large
The boundaries of which the eye couldn't see
If a K-9 had a bucket list
I think it would long for a gentle touch
A special toy to play with
Is not asking for too much
If a K-9 had a bucket list
I think it would want to go for a ride
And a yard to dig a hole in
For a bone that it could hide
If a K-9 had a bucket list
Perhaps it would want a place to call home
A bed and human to share it with
And lots of room to roam
If a K-9 had a bucket list
It would want to chase a ball
Go running just as fast as it could
At the sound of its human's call
If a K-9 had a bucket list
It would want to swim in a lake
Have a birthday celebration
Complete with ice cream and doggy cake
By: T.J. Christoff ©
My Patchwork Heart: Vol. 4
Image:
Designed Perfectly for Me...
I saw the sun rise
Watched the birth of a new day
Through half-closed eyes
Saw dark of night fade away
I felt the warmth
Of rays on my skin
Never getting too hot
Thanks to occasional wind
I sat for a bit
Contemplating my day
Taking note of two squirrels
Enjoing their play
As I surveilled the sights
Laid out just ahead
Birds singing in trees
Beautiful flowers in beds
Without a doubt
In my mind I could see
This place in time
Was designed perfectly for me
By: T.J. Christoff ©
My Patchwork Heart: Vol. 4
Image:
Fonder Days...
As I sit and watch
Small children play
My thoughts drift back
To fonder days
I see myself
Young again
Playing kick-the-can
With family and friends
There were softball games
Lots of basketball too
On hot summer days
Playing shark in the pool
Fun baling hay
Out on the farm
Sleeping under the stars
Being celestially charmed
The memories I have
I will hold onto
I am grateful for both
The old and the new
As I sit and watch
These children play
I smile as I think
They're creating fonder days
By: T.J. Christoff ©
My Patchwork Heart: Vol. 4
Image:
I Noticed You Today...
I noticed you today
Sitting all alone
I watched you for awhile
Before making my way back home
I noticed you today
As you dug through cans of trash
Searching for a bite to eat
Knowing it just might be your last
I noticed you today
As you slept there on the ground
I watched the crowds pass by you
Seldom ever looking down
I noticed you today
Sitting there upon that bench
Feeding your dog what scraps you'd found
Just quietly taking your rest
I noticed you today
I chose to catch your eye
As I asked if I could sit with you
I noticed you softly start to cry
I noticed you today
I placed my hand upon your chest
I prayed for your protection
That you would withstand life's weary tests
As I noticed you today
I felt the Angels gather near
Their overwhelming presence
A reminder there is no need for fear
By: T.J. Christoff ©
My Patchwork Heart: Vol. 4
Image:
On a Path to Self-Destruction...
I take a deep breath
As my heart starts racing
Streets rampant with violence
For love it's hate I see replacing
All over social media
It's left versus right
Friends deleting friends
The result of political fights
The energy is shifting
Throughout this great Nation
Tensions steadily rising
It's massive divisions we are facing
You call yourself civil
But civil went out the door
With your chaos and destruction
You've become what you abhor
The toppling of monuments
Murdering of massed persons
The repetitive news coverage
Seems like clockwork to worsen
Like a rat on a wheel
This country is moving
On a path to self-destruction
Born of it's citizen's own choosing
By: T.J. Christoff ©
My Patchwork Heart: Vol. 4
Image:
My Blessing Test...
The words come in gentle whispers
Quietly speaking to my soul
At times keeping me from sleeping
To be penned into life their pressing goal
I cover my head with pillows
I only want to take my rest
But the words grow more persistent
Perhaps this is my Blessing Test
I surrender to the voices
Becoming louder in my head
Turning on a table lamp
I pull myself upright in bed
Grabbing pen and paper
Which seems always close at hand
I'm amazed as words pour out freely
From first until the end
While I've no doubt where they come from
I know not why they come through me
But I'm grateful for the gift
And the pen that sets them free
By: T.J. Christoff ©
My Patchwork Heart: Vol. 4
Image:
Country Farm Life...
I love the smell
Of straw and hay
It takes me back
To the good old days
Working the farm
With my best friend
From dawn to dusk
The work had no end
Finally whenever
For the day all was done
And stars replaced
Hot burning sun
You could find us there
Lying on the ground
Sharing words and laughter
And contemplative sound
How I would love
If just for one day
To work the farm again
Smell the freshly cut hay
Lay on the ground
Next to my best friend
Talk and laugh
Contemplate life again
To get lost in the aura
Of country farm life
Singing crickets and bullfrogs
And blinking fireflies
By: T.J. Christoff ©
My Patchwork Heart: Vol. 4
Image:
At the Bridge by Heaven's Gate...
The day I lost my shadow
Was the day my heart stood still
The moment I felt her slip away
I had prayed it was irreal
I knew she would be leaving soon
This shadow I'd loved so dear
Had become the better part of me
My companion through the years
I held her close and kissed her head
As the tears streamed down my face
Knowing deep in the depths of my soul
No other could take her place
She's only been gone a short while now
And yet for an eternity she has lived
Running in fields of flowers
Waiting to meet me at the Bridge
Every day that passes here on earth
I find I'm looking for signs of her
From chewed up toys she left behind
To precious golden locks of fur
Until she sees me standing there
For now I'll patiently wait
To see my shadow wagging her tail
At the Bridge by Heaven's Gate
By: T.J. Christoff ©
For: Yoda
My Patchwork Heart: Vol. 4
Image:
Personal collection
Beautiful Memories...
I sure miss my baby girl
My Yoda Lady Who
I miss my little shadow
I miss my Punkin' Do
I miss your soft sweet muzzle
Those pointy Shepherd ears
The soulful way you looked at me
Would chase away my fears
Your tufts of fur like stuffings
Left lying about the house
You were always at my feet
Quiet as an old church mouse
When cancer attacked your body
You fought back like a champ
Knocking it out in the fourth round
It didn't stand a chance
I watched oft' times amused
As the scenes coursed through your head
While you ran barking through fields of flowers
Chasing bunnies as you slept on my bed
I sure do miss you, Yoda
My sweet little Punkin' Do
You left me with such beautiful memories
And I thank God for you!
By: T.J. Christoff ©
For : Yoda
My Patchwork Heart: Vol. 4
Image:
Personal collection
My Vulnerability...
I'm speaking to you now
From a place within my soul
A place not oft' times seen
A place I seldom go
I'm choosing to let you see
The hidden part of me
A place of much discomfort
It's my vulnerability
Some might think me strong
After all that I've been through
But the truth is I'm no different
Then any of the rest of you
Though I fight to see the positive
When life turns upside down
There are days when I'm left feeling
Completely lost and overwhelmed
I've never been very good
At expressing what's deep inside
When I'm feeling scared or hurt
It's the fear I seek most to hide
It's at those times you'll notice
If you really want to see
The most fragile part of who I am
The most vulnerable part of me
The signs are pretty obvious
As the words I speak turn few
I turn to the darkest depths of despair
Looking for a better view
Somehow I've always managed
To claw my way back out
Though seldom without causalities
Lending itself to future doubt
Pity not this weary soul
For you have struggled too
Please trust I view tomorrow
As when life starts anew
By: T.J. Christoff ©
My Patchwork Heart: Vol. 4
Image:
You Rescued Me...
I will never forget the day
The day that you chose me
You jumped into my lap
Kissing my chin and then my cheek
You let me know right then
That you were meant for me
Through circumstance and time
This was a truth I came to see
We had our share of adventures
As my co-pilot you were the best
No matter the length of our journeys
You stayed by my side and took no rest
You fought off water monsters
With virtually every shower I took
Barking until you felt me safe
Followed by your most satisfied look
I knew this day would come
Yet it feels all way too soon
That I should have to let you go
It's hard to imagine my life without you
I hope you will hold in your spirit
All the love I have for you
And know that you rescued me
Just as much as I rescued you
By: T.J. Christoff ©
For: Glamour
My Patchwork Heart: Vol. 4
Image:
Personal collection
Draw, Win, or Lose...
There are moments in life
Which bring about pain
Trust your fight to endure
Will not be in vain
Open your heart
Forgive those who've wronged you
Recall you are not perfect
You've no doubt wronged some too
Take time to play
With every chance you get
Remember kick-the-can?
Or, "Tag, now you're it!"?
No matter how difficult
Your life has become
Laughter and joy
Is for all not just some
Know you can decide
Yes, you get to choose
How you'll respond to life
Draw, win, or lose
By: T.J. Christoff ©
My Patchwork Heart: Vol. 4
Image:
Collecting Heart Pieces...
picked up the pieces
With tears glued them together
A process that felt
Would take me forever
With kid gloves I'd asked you
To handle my heart
To be kind and gentle
Not to tear it apart
If you had looked closely
You would have seen the scars there
From a heart too oft' broken
The damage hard to repair
Yet here I am now again
All alone once more
Collecting heart pieces
Scattered 'bout on the floor
With glue made from tears
As like many times before
I'll mend my heart back together
Lift myself off the floor
By: T.J. Christoff ©
My Patchwork Heart: Vol. 4
Image:
The Light Which Fills My Soul...
God's the rudder
That steers this ship
Through seas both high and low
Regardless how oft'
I'm cast about
I'm safe from depths below
Though damaged bow
From time to time
May stymie this soul's course
My sails will stand
All fully mast
Despite some gale wind's force
Neither fear nor doubt
May enter in
Disrupting this vessels goal
Of traveling upon
The waves of light
The light which fills my soul
By: T.J. Christoff ©
My Patchwork Heart: Vol. 4
Image:
Mom's Christmas Cookies...
Every year at Christmas
All the kids would gather 'round
To savor sweet confections
There were plenty to be found
From early in the morning
'til late into the eve'
We sat and watched intently
Refusing to take our leave
For every year at Christmas
From out of floury mess
Would rise those sour milk cookies
The one's the Germans loved the best
To us it mattered not the shape
Those cut-out cookies took
With sprinkles and colored icing
Mom gave each a festive look
Though each cookie was cut with precision
There was something only a child could know
The best part of the cookie
Came in sneaking bites of dough
While at times she tried to catch us
As we picked and pulled the dough
Lookig back I finally realize
There was something we kids didn't know
Mom would often turn her back
So that dough her kids could sneak
I recall a smile grew 'cross her face
As she turned her head to peek
I sure do miss mom's cookies
Yet I miss my mom much more
So I'll hold tight to these memories
They're the one's I've come to adore
By: T.J. Christoff ©
My Patchwork Heart: Vol. 4
Image:
Victory Came...
Victory came
The battle had finally ended
Some peace restored to a tormented heart
The tears
Liquid bandages over invisible wounds
The pain known only to the warrior
Healing begins
Nightmares fade with morning light
Letting go, a new battle has begun
By: T.J. Christoff ©
My Patchwork Heart: Vol. 4
Image:
What I Wanted to See...
No one knows
How I fall apart
When I no longer contain
My emotion-filled heart
No one sees
Me trembling in pain
Begging to go home
Knowing my longing's in vain
No one listens
As I cry in the night
Exhausted and weary
Wanting to give up the fight
No one knows
That I scare even me
Knowing I chose this life
It's what I wanted to see
By: T.J. Christoff ©
My Patchwork Heart: Vol. 4
Image:
I Chose to Name You Oscar...
In a place you shouldn't be
You chose to make your home
In a place inside of me
I chose to name you Oscar
I chose to have no fear
I chose to embrace my journey
To embrace all that I hold dear
So tell me won't you Oscar
Are you here as friend or foe
You chose to live inside of me
So it's only fair that I should know
What are your intentions
As inside of me you grow
Have you come to take my life
Is your answer "Yes" or "No"?
Your presence does not scare me
It does not cause me any woe
For I see eviction in your future
A time when you must go
As I watch the role you're playing
In the story of my life
I'll smile as I greet each day
You will not cause me strife
For you see I've learned a lesson
As I've traveled my life's path
No obstacle's to big for me
When I choose to look at it and laugh
Life is what you make of it
This much I've come to know
There's a time in life for everything
There's even a time to go
So tell me won't you Oscar
Won't you tell me if you can
What's your purpose in my life
How will our story end?
By: T.J. Christoff ©
My Patchwork Heart: Vol. 4
Image:
I Do Believe...
I do believe
I do believe
I do believe, I do
I do believe
I do believe
I do believe, do you
I do believe in peace
I do believe in love
I do believe God's all around
Not hidden in clouds above
I do believe in giving
In providing a helping hand
I believe in the immortality
Of the spirit of mortal man
I believe in giving a smile
In sharing a kind "hello"
I believe in the gift of talking a bit
With people I don't know
I do believe in Christmas
In the magic believing can bring
I believe in the joy that seems to come
From listening to carolers sing
I do believe
I do believe
I do believe, I do
I do believe
I do believe
I do believe, do you
By: T.J. Christoff ©
My Patchwork Heart: Vol. 4
Image:
I Loved You the Most...
It's odd this feeling
That I feel
When I think of you
Wishing you were here
You reside in a place
Both near yet far
I trust you are well
Wherever you are
I awoke today
To thoughts of you
There was so much about you
That I never knew
When I started to awake
I could feel you close
Upon opening my eyes
You became like a ghost
The image I'd held
Of you in my mind
Upon opening my eyes
I could scarcely more find
I miss you mom
Yet I hold you close
You may have loved me
But I loved you the most
By: T.J. Christoff ©
My Patchwork Heart: Vol. 4
Image:
Personal collection
Doing Zoomies...
How do I begin to say
All I'm feeling in my heart
There's love and joy and pain and sadness
But that is just the start
You showered me with so much love
As you would kiss and nibble my chin
There were so many times you made me laugh
As your zoomies through the house you'd begin
You were such a sweet little soul
Giant heart housed in tiny frame
With eyes as clear and blue as crystal
Sasha Azule became your name
Your journey here on earth was short
But you lived each day so grand
With ever a smile on your soft little muzzle
So oft' you'd nestle your chin in my hand
Today I had to let you go
Our time together has come to an end
And although my heart is broken now
Memories of you will help it mend
So go now my sweet Sasha girl
Like the dove upon your face
Fly across that Rainbow Bridge
Doing zoomies as you race!
By: T.J. Christoff ©
For : Sasha
My Patchwork Heart: Vol. 4
Image:
Personal collection